bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
