If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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