I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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