Swine flu. Run for my life!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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