eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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