Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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