he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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