Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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