Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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