it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
