I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
