I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
