sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
