I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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