I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I cut my penus on the lid.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
