dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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