Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
