i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
