If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
