fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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