physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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