I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
