I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
