Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
