Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
