I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I just googled if crying burns calories
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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