This is not my ceiling
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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