glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
