that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
