I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize