operation harelip BJ is a go
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
