I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize