How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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