he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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