Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
