just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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