I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
