I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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