I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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