Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
My vagina is very pro this idea
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
