dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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