He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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