oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It's shark week go big or go home
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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