I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my shit smells like andre
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
