Sober January is a disaster.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
