This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
This gyro tastes like lonliness
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
