whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
it glows. i had to have it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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