I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
