I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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