Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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