everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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