Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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