Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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