These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
