I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Randomize
