so explain again why im purple
no
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
